Saturday, August 29, 2009

20-yr old vs. grasshopper

I must preface this story by saying that I am afraid of bugs. Those who know me well know that I'm highly allergic to bees, and therefore anything flying, buzzing, crawling, or jumping creates an instantly spastic version of me. Case in point:

Yesterday, I went to run some errands. One of my errands was to go to Michael's and get a pillow form to put in a cute decorative pillow case my mom made to match our bedpsread. Hence, I had the pillow case with me (yes, this becomes important in a moment).

I happily walked out the door, excited about the decorative changes that were happening in the apartment and thinking to myself what a beautiful day it was. Suddenly, just before I reached the fence that leads to the front yard, I was stopped in my tracks-- by this monster:


It was like an old western movie-- I could hear the tumbleweed rolling and the whistling wind as I faced my opponent. A shootout was iminent.
Just kidding, it wasn't that dramatic. But I was stopped for a minute, unsure of my next move. Since the monster was smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk, I couldn't go around him either way-- he would jump on me for sure. I couldn't step over him, for fear that he would jump on me then as well. After thinking over my options for about 3 minutes (not a joke) a light came on in my head. Why not gently sweep him into the bushes with the pillowcase?
The rest of the story isn't very exciting. I swept him into the bushes, and he jumped super-high and smacked himself pretty hard into the shed. My fears were confirmed: a grasshopper attack would have been every bit as awful as I thought. Thank goodness I had that pillowcase.

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